No One Else
by mzEvee
Summary: Manny's been dealing with a lot lately. See as her problems effect the perfect ending her and Jay are attempting to create. Chapter 1 is an overview up until now. Based on my old RP storyline with Alex & the song "NO ONE ELSE" by Allison Iraheta
1. Chapter 1

Manny sat on her bedroom floor, against a wall. She didn't know what to think about anything anymore.  
She had had it with her stupid shoulder.  
She didn't even want to think about the whole ex boyfriend thing.  
She had this weird feeling about how Tori resembled her.  
She felt a bit bad about beating up the girl at the party.  
She was starting to want Jay back.  
She just wanted to hide out in her room forever with an endless supply of alcohol, weed, cigarettes, pain killers, and muscle relaxers.  
She just needed a break from her own thoughts. This was the way to do it.  
She sat there, taking some pills, and drinking a bottle of vodka.  
In the morning, she was hoping to wake up feeling better about everything going on in her life.  
This was Manny's escape, her only escape, from her crazy personal issues in her life in Toronto.  
When in LA, everything was different. She was liked, she didn't have a million problems, the biggest one was probably the paparazzi, which were nonexistent in Toronto, then again here, she had to deal with Heather Sinclair.  
She was just tired. She was going to drink the night away, again.  
This is what her life consisted of now.  
This would eventually kill her, but she didn't care right now.  
It was time to leave her life behind for a while.  
She took out her lighter.  
Relax Time.

After nearly killing a girl, Manny ran home, crying her eyes out.  
She was done.  
It was her entire life, not just about boys.  
She thought Toronto would do her good. She was wrong.  
She emptied all of her pill bottles, taking everything with a bottle of vodka.  
She then opened a bottle of whiskey and downed it.  
She just needed a break, maybe this was the only escape now.  
She surrounded herself with alcohol and drank until she passed out.  
Hopefully, this did more to her than make her pass out.

Manny had just suffered yet another panic attack.  
She just wanted to forget about everything.  
Now she knew that she didn't have the strength to ever confront her dad about his affair.  
She knew that she couldn't tell her mom anything about her problems, without causing her pain.  
She didn't know what to do about her evolving feelings towards girls, it just all confused her.  
She saw everyone else around her struggling as well.  
She just wanted to escape her past.  
She didn't want any of the problems.  
But she wasn't going to give up on life.  
She had her mom, and now Tori.  
Those were the people she had to live for.  
But she went to the only escape she knew, the bottle.  
She just needed a friend, that wouldn't judge her.  
She would never forgive herself for what she had done to the girl.  
She felt as if maybe things would have been better if someone hadn't found her.  
But she wouldn't do that again.  
Truthfully, she just wanted to find a purpose in this crazy life.  
She had made many mistakes in life that she would never let go of.  
She felt as if she was the worst person on earth.  
Jake was right, she was going to hell.  
She wasn't herself, and she didn't know why.  
She wanted answers.  
She drank to forget, all of the thoughts running through her head.  
But in her mind, she repeated to herself, the awful thoughts she had about herself.  
Manuella Santos was broken, and she didn't know how to be fixed.

After spending the night crying with a friend, and self medicating at another's house Manny headed home.  
She had already had like 5 different pills at her friends's a bottle and a half of vodka, and smoked half a pack.  
Seeing her friend still asleep in her bed, she went out into the balcony.  
She sat out there, counting up pills, knowing how many wouldn't kill her, while mixing drinks.  
She downed as much alcohol as she could with the medication; she seemed to have become an expert already.  
Pills were taken representing individual problems in her life.  
When she had finished nearly everything, she smoked some more.  
She ended up stumbling into bed, and lying next to her friend.  
Without changing or taking off her makeup, she pulled the blankets over herself and her best friend.  
Cuddling up with her, she fell asleep as the drugs kicked in, and everything took effect in her body.

Manny awoke the next morning, with limited recollection of the night before.  
All she knew was that she was in the hospital, again, under suicide watch.  
A doctor had come to explain the circumstances to her, after asking questions.  
She was told that she was being to be given the option of rehab when she got out.  
She refused; she would not admit she had a problem.  
She was told that all alcohol and prescription drugs would be removed from her home, and those needed for her to get better would have to be given to her by someone else.  
Someone responsible enough to treat her like a child, handing the right dosage to her when needed.  
She was being put on a few medications, and was not allowed to own any besides that.  
She would also be subjected to random drug and alcohol testing, to make sure she didn't make any more impulsive acts due to her depression.  
She was being taken off of the addictive pain killers for her shoulder, and now had over the counter medication that would be given to her by whoever decided to help her through this.  
She was required to go to weekly meetings, as well as go into therapy.  
She was also offered physical therapy at the hospital, instead of going somewhere else.  
The doctors had also told her that she needed to report all progress.  
She was overwhelmed with information, and just went back to sleep.  
She didn't want to deal with this, wondering if these were the only people that cared.  
Wondering if they even really cared, or were just doing their job.  
She just knew she was alive, and she wanted to be happy now.

Manny was bored.  
She couldn't sleep.  
Her shoulder was bugging her.  
There was no medication, what so ever, in her home.  
She hadn't seen her drug dealer in a while.  
She had no alcohol in her fridge.  
She was too lazy to run to the store for a pack of cigarettes.  
She was on facebook, sitting on her bed, computer to the side.  
She got her notebook out and began to write some new lyrics.  
She had nothing else to do, no one was up.  
If she wasn't to be tested, she would go to a bar, the ones open till 4am.  
She decided against that, she just wrote.  
It was 2am, and Manny Santos had nothing to do.  
Note to Self: trying to kill yourself, so not worth it.

The past few weeks had been good, Jay was back in town, they were engaged.

She was planning a wedding, happy again. After tattoos and moving back in together, she was finally happy in life again. It couldn't get any better. But it could get worse..

She had been smoking and drinking, and went home to take some pills.  
Manny couldn't believe what she had done. Even if it was for the best.

The guy had abused her friend, but did he deserve to die?  
She just wanted to stop her thoughts, but nothing helped.  
She sat on her bed, contemplating the possible consequences.  
Hearing a knock at the door, Manny sat there.  
When she heard the person behind the door call out that they were Toronto PD, she calmed herself before answering the door, holding Jay's hand the entire time.  
She remained calm as it was explained to her that she would be questioned, and was under arrest.  
Letting go of her fiancée's hand she let herself be handcuffed.

Manny let out the first tear in the two days since the murder, as she was put in the backseat of the car.


	2. Chapter 2

"I got myself to blame for this

Got myself to blame for my difficult days

And my typical ways but you,

You know how to let things slide

I'm all perfect in your eyes

You don't see, all the damage in me"

Manny sat in an interrogation room at the downtown station; the police had presented to her the evidence. A gun with her finger prints all over it, registered to the so called victim.

As she sat there, attempting to explain what had happened that fateful night, she just wanted to erase everything. Her thoughts continuously wandered to, not herself, but Jay. She felt bad for putting him through hell. She knew that he wouldn't leave and would be dragged through everything alongside her. She just prayed in her mind that they didn't look into him. Having helped dispose of evidence consisting of bloody clothing and a pocket knife, she just would rather take complete blame for everything and suffer the consequences herself.

She wrote her confession on paper, the self medicating hadn't quite worked, and her mind was racing. She made sure to defend her reason for doing what she had done; after all, it did save a life. This was the first time that she had ever gotten caught for anything, she hoped that they believed her story, as she twisted it a bit to make herself look as innocent as possible while steering all attention as far away from her fiancée as possible. She knew that he was seated just feet away in the waiting area, waiting to see what would happen to her. Manny finished writing her confession, handing the yellow notepad to the investigators. They then proceeded to re-handcuff her, as she was led out of the room by a female officer.

Messy curls hid her face as she looked at the ground, until she heard Jay ask what was going on. As an investigator explained to him that they were holding her, Manny turned towards him, mouthing, "I'm sorry" for what seemed to be the millionth time that night.

As she turned away the officer asked if she would like to speak to Jay before being taken away. Manny quickly took the chance, and was lead towards him. This is the moment she broke, the officer standing inches away; Jay pulled Manny into a tight hug as she cried.

"I'm soooooo sorry!" she said between crying, she didn't want him to let go. Jay told her to remember that he still loved her, no matter what. He reassured her about that for the second time that night; she nodded, managing to say "I love you" back. As Jay held her, the officer cut in, letting them know she had to go.

Being led away to booking, Manny turned back, tear stained face, looking at Jay as long as she could. Knowing an officer would be speaking to him, she put on a brave face and was lead to be booked.


End file.
